STRUGGLES - The Truth About Building a Business
Lawerence here, founder of LOWLIFE Streetwear Company and the blog you're reading this on.
This article is going to be different today because I'm going to be talking about something I really don't like talking about: myself.
People who read The LOWDOWN have probably noticed that the blog covers a lot of different things. Show reviews, interviews, brand lore, essays, and whatever else I happen to find interesting. This won't be that.
In the past, I've mentioned personal experiences to give context to why LOWLIFE is the way it is, but I don't really like talking about myself. Those who know me in real life know me as the kind of guy who'd rather ask questions and listen than treat every conversation like some kind of impromptu interview.
To be honest, I don't think I'm that interesting of a person to where constantly talking about myself would be appreciated for more than filling the silence.
But I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I feel like sharing it.
This is part me venting, part commentary on what goes on behind the scenes of running LOWLIFE, and part cautionary tale for those who want to chase a dream.
Let me tell you, as a guy who's spent over a year building a business that is less a company and more a monument to the life he wants to live:
THIS SHIT IS HARD!!!
MY BUSINESS PARTNER: FEAR
I'd like to introduce someone. Someone very important who's been by my side since the very beginning.
Fear.
Fear is the silent partner that's always present whenever I'm working on LOWLIFE.
Fear helped me design the LOWLIFE website, create the LOWLIFE Mark, and has played a key role in every bit of success the brand has had since the beginning.
Fear is such a good business partner that it puts in overtime every single day, long after I've clocked out.
It's working when I'm sleeping, eating, working out, socializing, or doing literally anything else.
Fear doesn't speak. It doesn't need to.
Its presence is enough, and it does more work than words ever could.
Fear is like a strict boss, constantly hovering and reminding me to keep working. Not out of malice, though. It's more of a brutal sense of clarity that it uses to motivate me because of what's at stake if I don't work, even for a day.
Do I hate fear?
Honestly, no.
I don't love it, and I'd give my left nut plus an ear for it to not be there anymore, but I do think it has value.
Over time, I've grown to appreciate it and have found ways to minimize it. But I don't think I'll ever get rid of it completely.
And it's probably for the best.
Without fear, I'd lose my sense of urgency. Without that urgency, my drive and my will to work would lose much of their fuel.
Fear sucks.
But sometimes, fear gets shit done.
SMALL ARMS AND BIG DREAMS
When I imagine LOWLIFE ten years from now, I don't just see a clothing company.
I don't see millions of dollars sitting in my bank account, a rotation of influencers being paid to push LOWLIFE to their fans while doing weird TikTok dances, or every person on the planet having something with the LOWLIFE logo in their closet.
That sounds nice, sure.
But that's far from the dream.
Charity collaborations.
Art workshops.
Poetry slams.
Funding the creation of murals.
Community outreach programs.
Those are the things I see when I imagine LOWLIFE at its peak.
At the end of the day, it's about bringing people together and giving back, with the clothes being an extension of a much broader idea.
None of that happens without two very important things:
Money and a following.
And before you say anything, no, this isn't me trying to manipulate you. I'm not begging you to buy anything, and I'm definitely not asking for sympathy.
I'm just stating the facts when it comes to wanting to do more but not having the means to.
I feel like I'm trying to carry dreams that are too big for my arms to hold, and every moment that passes, my grip on them gets weaker.
It burdens me more than anything else because I've already seen what LOWLIFE can do.
I've been told many times by supporters of the brand that they like what LOWLIFE is doing, or that a certain graphic or article resonated with them.
If LOWLIFE goes under, I can always find something else to do for work.
But even if only one person has been positively influenced by LOWLIFE, there wouldn't be a worse feeling than letting them down, even if I'll never meet them in person.
TO QUIT, OR NOT TO QUIT
I've heard before that entrepreneurship is a hard path to walk.
It's easy to shrug that off when you look at successful business owners who all went through it and think:
“I can too.”
And you can.
You tell yourself that from the moment you start planning your business.
Then, over the months, your business gradually evolves. Your business plan becomes more fleshed out. You're not making it yet, but you start having small successes that reinforce what you keep telling yourself:
“I can do it.”
Then more months go by.
Ideas that you swear would work end up failing. Money gets tight sometimes. You struggle to come up with new things to try. The pressure to succeed grows faster than the business does.
Technical difficulties, delays, and small human errors begin to feel like bad omens.
Now, on top of all of this, you still need to manage your life outside the business.
You need to study for your midterm.
The light bill needs to be paid.
You're running low on groceries.
The car needs a new tire.
You haven't hit the gym in forever.
And you still tell yourself:
“I can do this.”
At first, you never questioned your will to succeed.
But now you've begun to question it, even if you didn't realize it at first.
Self-doubt creeps in like a seed taking root in the darkest part of your mind.
Then you get scared.
Not scared because the business may fail. You always knew that was a possibility.
You're scared because that urge to quit that you've fought off for so long is now starting to seem less like an enemy and more like a savior in shining armor.
You won't dare admit it, but you start to long for a reason to quit.
Not “I just don't feel like doing it anymore.”
No.
It has to be more drastic.
It has to be something that completely excuses you of any responsibility for the failure.
School gets too busy.
You get seriously hurt.
You become burnt out.
Some outside circumstance causes you to completely shut down your business.
After all, it's not quitting if it's not your fault.
You know damn well this isn't true, but it's a more comfortable world to live in than the one you're in now.
In that make-believe world, life is simple.
There's no waiting to see how an ad campaign turns out.
No hoping to see a rising follower count on Instagram.
No feeling like a failure because you're not where you want to be, even if logically you know better than to compare yourself to others.
But how can you not?
How can you, as just one man trying to build an empire, not compare yourself to an entire collective of people who have been building their empires longer than you've been alive?
And the worst part?
Nobody would blame you if you did quit.
Not even yourself.
WHY THEN?
If you're in so much mental pain, under so much stress, and know that not only can you quit but that you wouldn't be losing too much if you did, then why don't you?
Why not just stop and do something else?
Anything else?
You're young.
You have time to rebuild your life doing something less stressful.
You're in school for kinesiology. You could lock in and, in a few years, make six figures working as a physical therapist.
It's a long road. A hard one too.
But it's not the road you're on now.
All you need to do is make the turn.
Every entrepreneur has asked themselves that question at one point or another.
Everyone's answer is different.
For some, it's about pride. You know, the whole “Who's gonna carry the boats?” mentality.
For others, it may be feeling like they're in too deep and would rather go down with the ship if it sinks than quit.
There's always some stronger “why” that keeps them going, and it's usually something beyond themselves.
Pride and discipline can be powerful, but they can only do so much when you're already feeling like your bones are being crushed by the burn that comes from being responsible for a business.
So why don't I, the founder of LOWLIFE, quit and move on to something else?
Simple.
I'm not ready yet.
You were probably expecting me to go into some monologue about how strongly I believe in LOWLIFE and how I don't want to let down the people who have supported the brand.
And blah, blah, blah.
You wouldn't be wrong.
You really wouldn't.
But the truth is way less dramatic.
I think about quitting almost every single day.
I do it so much that it's become a sort of inside joke I have with myself.
Would I quit?
Honestly, yeah.
There is a world that exists where I quit being the founder of LOWLIFE.
It's a pretty distant world that sometimes gets so close that it's practically merging with this one, but it's there.
And I won't deny it.
But I'm not ready to live in that world just yet.
I have a couple more tricks up my sleeve before quitting becomes something I put any real intent behind.
And this is why I say that if you hate LOWLIFE, watch it.
Because for all you know, any given day could be the day I make the great announcement on Instagram that LOWLIFE is shutting down, then disappear into obscurity.
If I were a gambling man, hell, I'd start a betting pool about what day and month will be the last for LOWLIFE.
If anyone actually does that, please reach out to me.
I'd love to get in on the action.
THANK YOU FOR READING
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